Dealing with hatred towards your family


Leo Tolstoy has succinctly summed up the essence of family: “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

There are many reasons why you might feel less than nice towards your family. Some people dislike their families due to the trauma they have sustained at their hands. Similarly, some people do not like their family due to a lack of attachment with them.

Having conflicting viewpoints can also be the reason for the hatred. Those who have toxic families are naturally also more likely to feel resentment towards their families. Likewise, lack of proper boundaries, having different perspectives and traumatic experiences can cause animosity between you and your family.

However, it is very important to remedy this hatred before it consumes you entirely. Moreover, hatred towards your family also leads to psychological, emotional, behavioral, and mood problems, that require the help of a psychologist.

Dealing with the hate towards your family

Not to undermine the challenge of the task, it is important that your address the issue, rather than shoving it under the rug. Here are some helpful tips to help you:

Understand and accept your feelings

There is no reason why you should be afraid to acknowledge your feelings or blame yourself for the hatred that you feel. Unless you admit to there being an issue, you cannot work on remedying it.

Therefore, accept why you do not like your family, but be true to yourself. You do not need to judge yourself for not liking your siblings. Once you have accepted it, give yourself some perspective.

Perhaps you were all too young, and did not know any better, after all, we all evolve. Maybe your siblings have mended their ways, and the damage they did to you was not deliberate.

If you stifle your emotions, you will damage your physical and mental health as a result.

Establish a game plan

It is not always possible to completely cut ties with your family. Therefore, if you are not ready for it, at least have a game plan on how you will be proceeding with them.

Give another chance

Sometimes, your family has realized the error in his ways. In such cases, it is good that you give another chance to your family, rather than holding onto the bitter memories from the past.

However, a good practice is to get help from a professional family therapist, so when you do end up talking about your feelings, they are processed in a healthy way.

Have boundaries

One of the reasons for hatred towards your family is there is a lack of boundaries. This includes problems pertaining to privacy, control, criticism, comparison, disregard for emotions, inequal relationships, etc.

If that is something you can relate to, then you need to work on establishing boundaries. It is not an easy task and something that your family will take in stride, but you must do it. Establish limits to your relationship with your family, which can take different forms, depending on where your issue lies, to begin with.

Protect your privacy

Lack of privacy is also one of the bones of contention. Families can be nosy and in the habit of prying, which may not be something that you are okay with. Rather than resenting them over it, simply, protect your privacy.

There are some things that you can do in this regard; do not put everything on social media, be selective with the information you want to share. Be savvy with changing subjects when you want to evade talking about something.

Respond to trauma

If you have been subjected to emotional or physical trauma at the hands of your family, it is something that you need to have addressed with the aid of your Psychologist in Islamabad. Left untreated, it can lead to emotional scarring and problems with physical health even.

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